Crash Fucking Seizuresanity
Crash Fucking Seizuresanity is the ninth game (or eleventh game) in the Crash Bandiboobs series. This is the first game that does not have the name "Bandiboobs" (other than Crash Nitro Kunt) in the series. It was released on December 7, 2004. This is also the longest game in the series, developed by Vicarious Heroin Productions. This is also the first game to feature sausages since Crash Team Raping. It's even considered to be the best as well, as it has the lowest rating in all of the series. (M for mature) Thus, it is not bloody and gory, but still contains drugs. Now then, let's go to the plot, which is divided into 17 parts. Part I - N. Sanity Island After crashing to Earth, N. Cortex then gathers all of Crash's enemies and when they meet him, they all must fuck him so hard, he'll have to surrender to his might and drugs. At this time, Crash is basking his ass in the sun, and eating sausage and smoking a cigarrette. Then a disguised being pops out from the bushes. It is Cortex disgused as his now deceased arch-enemy, Cuntsex. He leads Crash to the bay, and then, reveals his true self. He then calls of his henchmen, and they are all smoking cigarrettes. Crash gets angry, and then in his gibberish, he would state that he would stop smoking cigarrettes. The two get into a fight. Cortex is then defeated, and then calls in backup, which is N. Gin using a huge piece of robotic shit, Mechabandiboobs. Crash snorts a little meth to get angry, and eventually he destroys the fucking robot of doom. But, N. Cortex's rocketsled bursts a rocket, and the two fall into a hole, into a dark cavern. Dingodile looks up a Ripper Roo, who was fucked by Tiny, and the two agree at lunch and cocaine. Part II - The Caverns After losing to Crash twice, he uses some heroin, cocaine, a roasted penis, and crystal meth, and enters into a hyper acid trip, and suffers a gigaseizure! After all of that, he gets enraged, one of his balls explode, and he brawls with Crash through the cavern. During the next 77 minutes, thy constantly punch, kick, fuck, lick their asses, spank, choke, belch, and smash thier penises all over the mine. Afte all of that bullshit, they stop to hear a echoing of explosiens, set off by bombs. They then get up and run out of there. The mine then explodes and collapses, and the two go flying in the air to another part of the beach. They succeed in surving, and Crash rewards Cortex with some omniheroin, a drug he recently invented. Then a moment later, Cortex fucks Crash once, and runs off to the jungle. Part III - Jungle Mayhem Then, Crash later finds Cortex eating a sausage, and then raves on about his death at the hands of a new evil threat. He then envies the lives of the tribesfolk, as they all smoke cigars, growing meth, and making maijuana, as Papu Papu eats a giant piece of meat. Cortex then decides to snort some of the omniheroin, but the bees chase after him, and Crash is forced to protect him as he nearly runs into traps. He is later chased by a bear, and nearly fucks him, and nearly swallows him whole. But he runs into the fat basterd, Papu Papu. He then captures Cortex, and ties him to a totem pole. Crash then decides to set up a rescue plan to save him from becoming food to the leader. Part IV - Native Fortress After devising the ultimate plan, he then attacks and decides to kill the tribesmen in his own fury. After using all of the drugs that he has (heroin, crystal meth, cigarrettes, cocaine, and omniheroin.) He gets very angry, and goes super fast, killing everyone he sees. He then pissed on their remains and then pisses in the air after achieving victory in part one of the rescue mission. After that, he bursts throught the fort doors, immedietely assaulting and raping everyone to get to Cortex. Then his rage ends, and saves Cortex, but the totem pole falls. Cortex falls into the river, and he isn't seen until later. Crash then escapes as the tribesmen, who are chasing after him with spears, and are on crack, fall into a hole. Crash finds some crack later. Part V - Iceberg Lab After he and Cortex meet again, they get on a boat, and head to the Iceberg Lab, wherr Cortex creates synthetic drugs with good powers. He realises that he needs to piss on the door, but after that, he tries to open it, but the doors are glued shut. Then he takes an alternate route, and Crash follows. Cortex is later seen talking to a penguin about his check bouncing when he was at "Big Joe Hell's Cars", and he thought he died. After saying that the "Ass of Cuntsex" didn't do as well as he hope'd, he then continues on to the lab. But then, he finds Uka Uka trpped in icy shit, and Crash breaks the ice, and then Uka Uka awakens from his slumber, but finds out that Crash and Cortex are working together, and so he goes after Cortex. But he is defeated after being pissed on by Crash. Then, Aku Aku cuts in after he was done burying Coco's remains. Then the four head off to the top floor of the Iceberg Lab. Part VI - The Evil Force Then upon entering the room, where all of this marchinery creates syntheic drugs, a door, then opens, and two figures come out. They are Victor and Moritz, Cortex's former parrots that were teleported, and demented thanks to a lot of drugs, and radioactive elements. Then Cortex and Crash use some cocaine, and assault their evil ants who enjoy going on acid trips. He and Cortex win and then, the evil fucked up parrots leave. Thne the two officialy team up. Then they go to a teleporting device that allows them to go on ultra acid trips. But it requires some crystal meth to make the leap into another dimension. They don't have enought crystal meth, so they go to the top of the iceberg. Part VII - Human Sled Then, arriving at the top, Cortex sees a huge battleship with enough missiles to start a nuclear war. The then decides to walk to the railing, and put one leg up as the other's on the ground, making his ass visible. Crash uses some crack he found back in the lab, then notices Cortex's ass. Cortex's sweet, sweet booty is so sexy Crash instantly nuts in his pants. Crash then pounces on Cortex and starts riding him for about an hour, they get past obstacles, and speed down the mountain using cocaine. He gets by a butchery shop, and goes through Moulin Cortex, which the two even see Tawna. (Crash's missing third testicle, which he gets back in an earlier unimportant installment, Crash Nitro Kunt, but loses it later in the next installment after this one.) Then, the two go back brawling again like what they did in the cavern, and do so until they roll off the ramp in a snowball. Dingodile, in his hellhole, was enjoying some lunch with Ripper Roo, then the snowball smashes the hellhole, killing Ripper Roo in the process, yet Dingodile was still alive. Cortex lays in the snow for a bit whining about how humiliated he is, but he has a humiliation kink so it's okay. Crash and Cortex soon continue to the battleship, which was actually owned by N. Gin. Part VIII - Pirate's Lair It turns out that cunt, N. Tropy, sent N. Gin to his battleship until further notice for orders. Crash and now Cortex, using his disguise that he used at the beginning to enter the ship. Crash tours the lower deck of the ship, as Cortex travels at the top deck, but is kidnapped by N. Gin. He then rapes, shits on, and smashes him with his meth hammer, until Cortex's true self is revealed. Then N. Gin stops, as he is shocked. Then he goes to a floating crow's nest high above the ship, where Crash finds later. Then the two fight, but N. Gin's rockets were defective. Crash then destroys the crow's nest, and then it crashes into the ship, which cause it to start sinking. Crash then goes into a secret route under the ship, and then water begins to break the wall behind him, and it collapses in as Crash is forced to escape. Then after escaping it, he finds a TNT field and N. Gin, who falls from the sky then causes the TNT's to expolde, sending Crash to a piece of land away from the ship, that is now rising in flames, and still sinking. Then he meets up with N. Tropy and N. Brio, the penishead. N. Tropy is angry with Crash, so he fucks him into an oblivion, with the help of brio who chugged a potion made of viagra, steroids, crack and a healthy dose of liquid heroin, and then Crash is sent back to the Iceberg Lab. Part IX - Academy of Evil Then, as Cortex was about to get the portal ready, Uka Uka yells at him, causing his two pieces of meth to enter the teleportation device, and weren't seen again until later. Then, N. Cortex looks to a picture on the wall, it was his shitty ass niece, Nina Cortex. She has robotic hands, so she can choke her enemies to death like the badass she is. Cortex then uses his airship to get to the Academy of Evil. After getting on the airship Victor and Moritz were waiting for him. Then, they send ants to attack him, but he succeeds after using his ray gun, and some omniheroin. Then the two arrive later when night falls. Part X - The Sewers Cortex then reaches a water fountain as Crash is right behind him. He pushes the button, and then he falls into a hole, that leads into the sewers under the academy. Crash then hyperfucks him, and pisses all over him, and throws him into a pipe. Then Cortex farts and is grossed out by it. After all of that, they reach Dingodile and Cortex then decides to masterfuck him so hard, that he will give up all of his drugs. But he refuses, and then gets out his flamethrower. Cortex screams like a wuss, and runs out of there. Crash then takes him on, and after some fighting, Crash then unleashes his meth, and he uses it and so he shits on Dingodile, and then slams him into the ground. He then goes on a lift out of the sewers into the academy. Part XI - Academy Madness Crash then pushes on through security into the academy, and then Cortex rejoins him, and then he takes it from there. After clearing through security, Nina Cortex is asleep in her bed, and Cortex sees if she is awake, but it was a fake head. Then the real Nina was hiding behind the bed. So Cortex shakes her hand, but Nina breaks his hand, shattering his hand bones and crippling him for life (or like 2 seconds). He then lubricates her hands, and is equipped with crank, one of the drugs that he found. Part XII - Rooftop Invasion Then Nina uses the crank, and goes into hyperbashing mode, and she rends, mashes, and squeezes everything in site, even the gargoyles. After reaching Cortex, the door slams right behind her. Then, the moment of truth emerges. As Cortex was about to exit the academy, the door closes right in front of him. Then a being rises. It was Madame Amberly, and then Cortex remembers from his retarded past, and he was constantly abused, whipped, and raped by her, and it was true: Cortex's mother was Madame Amberly. Cortex then uses all of the drugs that he has, and goes into '''Professional Extreme Super Eternal Downright Fucking Eternal Bloody Rage Mode! '''So, he uses it on Madame Amberly, and he beats her to death with lasers and drug weapons, she explodes, and then, the Academy begins to crumble. So the door opens and Cortex escapes and the rest get on the airship, and return to the Iceberg Lab. Part XIII - The Acid Trip Then, after arriving, they immedietely get to the teleporting device, and then they go on an acid trip to the 10th Fucking Dimension. Nina then disappears after arriving there. Thus they go up to the greasy mountain top. After using the human sled, Cortex to get to the bottom, Crash then finds out that Nina was roasted by his opposite, Evil Bandiboobs. Thus, Cortex is chased by him, and then leads to the next part. Part XIV - Bandiboob Pursuit Then, Crash has to protect Cortex from the traps, and escape Evil Bandiboobs. Then, after all of the bullshit, Evil Bandiboobs falls into a acidic pot, and it instantly kills him. Then, Cortex and Crash get to the stronghold of the evil parrots, that in Cortex's shitty past, he fucked them, and tried to kill them with his machines that did not do fuck. That is why they are there. Part XV - Cocaine Agony Then the two enter, and during the trip into a hellish hellhole of a hellish dimension, Crash suffers a evil cocaine sideffect, known as BCS (Bandiboob Cocaine Syndrome) which fucks himself, and then shows that his time of being a bandiboob is almost up. Then the two enter into the parrot's lair, and confront them, and they admitted to trying to make a plan to rape Cortex in his bed. Cortex gets angry and the two birds go into their old shitty cage. Then, it becomes a robotic mutant piece of shit. Part XVI - The Final Battle Crash first had to use some marijuana, and ate a Wumpa Fruit. Then he shut off the robot's moving systems, making it to where it can't walk. Then Cortex gets two ray guns, filled with infinite amounts of black cigarrettes, and uses them to destroy it's apoctalyptic weapons. Then, a reconstructed MechaBandiboobs saves the day by fucking the evil robot with it's chainsaw, thus it explodes to a million pieces. The two then escape. Part XVII - Pooping Therapy (Finale) After all of that, the two take a therapy session of where Crash had to shit on Cortex when he falls backwards. Thus it succeeds, and Crash makes the pooping record. Cortex later gets trapped in Crash's head after some time, but is later released by a resureccted Coco, who was reincarnated by Aku Aku and Uka Uka. After that, the game can enter into Crash of the Testicles, or Crash Fag Team Raping. Category:Games